beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
The other day two pieces of information converged in my head.

Information the first: people who experience dissociation (as many people do who have psychological conditions resulting from trauma or neglect in childhood, or other adverse childhood experiences) should probably not meditate or do other mindfulness exercises because generally, when they try to, they don't go into a meditative trance, they dissociate.  Which is not helpful, and sometimes not pleasant.  I mean, according to some sources it apparently is possible to learn not to, but you need some specialized instruction.

Information the second: do you think the Jedi "release your emotions to the Force" Order knows this or would have ANY clue what the heck was going on?  Given that they don't seem to have any way of identifying or dealing with trauma besides "meditate and release it to the Force"?

This is relevant for just about any Jedi who suffers a lot of trauma, but it is ESPECIALLY relevant for Anakin, who, may I remind you, was a SLAVE for most of his childhood and while I'm sure Shmi tried to protect him as much as she could, I'm also sure that as a slave herself there was NO WAY she could have protected him from all the shit that would have been common in a slave's life.  Given that, as far as we can tell from the Jedi Order's traditions and practices he probably didn't receive any actual therapeutic help dealing with all of that, and that a Jedi's life is QUITE likely to send them back into potentially traumatizing situations even from a young age, it is quite likely that he has an undiagnosed psychological disorder of some sort, and there is a very good chance that he dissociates.

Which brings me to a question.  Is it canon or fanon that Anakin hates meditating and isn't very good at it?  I've only ever seen it with the subtext of "well of course he's emotional and passionate, so of course he wouldn't like meditating."  Not that I know many people who meditate regularly, but I can tell you for a fact that at least some emotional and passionate people can and do get quite a lot out of meditation.

Whether Anakin's meditative difficulties are canon or fanon, though, it strikes me that Obi-Wan/Yoda/the Order as a whole might see this as just another instance of someone who is too emotional to be a proper Jedi, and completely and totally miss any dissociation and attendant difficulties.
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
I just realized that after the [community profile] starwarsrollingremix authors were revealed, I never posted my story here! There was one starter story, The Devil in the Dust by [ profile] sevenofspade, and three chains of remixes. I was the first remix in my chain. It was an interesting experience. Obviously, we didn't get to pick what story we remixed, and we only got two weeks from the first time we got it to the due date. So there wasn't any time to ponder or think, you just had to get it and go. It wasn't a fic I would have picked to remix; for one thing, I'm pretty sure there were some thematic stuff going on that I was missing that would make the plot make sense. But I didn't have time to let it sit and ponder it, even though that feeling of missing something crucial made me really leery about remixing it. Remixing works best, imo, when you take something to pieces and play with the guts of it. But you can't do that if you're not quite sure what the guts ARE. Which left me ignoring theme and plot and doing a character remix.. But it was a time travel/vision thing--none of the three characters were from the same time period, so I could either just ... retell the story (boring!) or take the setting (desert) and the characters and look at how the deserts they grew up in shaped them. And throw in some meta about the Force while we're at it, because they're all strong in the Force. So that's how I ended up with my story.

As to the title, both the desert and the Force are vast beyond knowing, and the remix subtitle refers to both the problems I was having pinning down the original fic well enough to remix it, and to the old saying the devil is in the details (picking up on the title of the original).

Title: Vast Beyond Knowing (The Details Remix)
Fandom: Star Wars: Original Trilogy, Prequel Trilogy, Sequel Trilogy
Author: [personal profile] beatrice_otter 
Rating: kid
Length: 5,579 words
Betaed By: [personal profile] anghraine 
Written for: Star Wars Rolling Remix 2017
Summary: Anakin, Luke, Rey. The desert taught them much. But not everything.

At AO3

Anakin wasn't a baby. He knew how things worked. )
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
So, the first episode with Mortis and the Father, Son, and Daughter who personify the Force, and Anakin who is supposed to stay and take the Father's place and keep the Force in balance.  Two questions I have that I think would result in really interesting fics, which I would like to read if anything like them exists:

1) What would have happened if Anakin had chosen to do what the Father asked, and stay?  What would have happened to Anakin, how would he have changed as he worked to keep the Daughter and Son in balance?  And what would have happened to the rest of the Galaxy?  If Mortis is the Force, how would changes there have affected things?  How would it have affected the course of the war, and the Jedi Order, and the Sith?  (Would Padme, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka have been allowed to visit?)

2) What would have happened if Anakin hadn't died on the Death Star, and went to Mortis instead of to the Rebellion with Luke?  (For example, if he knew he was dying and bacta couldn't save him and maybe the Force, strengthened and personified at Mortis, could?)  How would that have affected things, both with Anakin and the Force, the Jedi, the New Republic, and the rise of the First Order and the Resistance?  Especially if Luke and Leia somehow became the new Son and Daughter.

I hope these fics already exist, because I would LOVE to read a long, plotty exploration of this idea.  But I'm already working on a Star Wars WIP, so.

beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
Title: Ghost Stories
Author: beatrice_otter
Fandom: Star Wars: Original Trilogy
Characters: Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca, Han Solo, Anakin Skywalker
Summary: After Endor, Luke gets something he's always wanted

On AO3

The thing about Force-ghosts—or whatever the proper term was, neither Obi-Wan nor Yoda ever said—was that they didn't feel like living beings. )
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
There is a Star Wars Big Bang! [ profile] star_wars_bb!  With fics due September 18th, giving me all summer to write!  It's the perfect excuse to focus on my Revenge of the Sith AU where Anakin and Padme get therapy.  (So much therapy ...)
beatrice_otter: Han and Leia--Kiss (Han and Leia)
So, I read [ profile] irnan's post about Padme, and trying to figure her character out, and in the process of rambling on in giving my two cents worth gave myself a plot bunny.

It's an AU.  Anakin kills Palpatine instead of Mace, and they read Palpatine's last transmissions and find out where the Separatist leadership is, and Anakin leads the team to go capture them, and when he gets back instead of going to the Temple he goes to Padme's apartment (because, you know, he's upset about Palpatine, and also that the Jedi didn't trust him until he turned Palpatine in, and he's just ready to say "screw it").  And Obi-Wan comes to drag him back to the Temple, and realizes Padme's pregnant and Anakin is the father, and the Jedi don't throw Anakin out, but a compromise is reached where he's "on leave" for a while.  So Anakin and Padme go to Naboo, and her family's overpoweringly thrilled about the baby and upset they didn't tell them and neither Anakin nor Padme can really take it, so they go someplace else.  A quiet planet, not directly involved in the war but still marked and shaped by the underlying issues that caused it.  And in this backwater, Anakin and Padme have nothing to distract themselves and things start to fall apart as they realize that they really don't know each other and don't know how to talk to each other and both are more in love with the idea of the other they've built up in their head than they are with the other person and both have serious issues to work through.  (Anakin's issues are that he's a whiny emo brat; Padme's are that she's a privileged twit who doesn't have the first clue what privilege means and she's spent so much of her life playing the roles of princess-queen-senator that she has no idea who she is without those roles.)  And it's hard and complicated and takes time and they both have to grow and they have therapy both as a couple and as individuals and they have to learn how to be parents.  I don't know if they stay there or go back in the end.  I may or may not write it someday.

Also, I now have a LibraryThing widget on my dreamwidth journal, courtesy of [personal profile] suncat in [site community profile] dw_nifty.
beatrice_otter: Vader and Leia (Vader and Leia)
The Remix is revealed!

I wrote What You Are (The Certain Point of View Remix).  Three people look up at the stars at night in the Tatooine desert, in three different eras.  It's a remix of Rynne's A Certain Reverence.

[personal profile] medie wrote Autumn (The Ashes and Roses Remix) for me, remixing Summer Experience, and her fic only has one comment on it which is a terrible shame.  I think you do have to read the original to get the remix, but the fit together so well, I really like it.  Go, read, review!

(And while you're at it, go read all the other great remix stories!)

beatrice_otter: Me in red--face not shown (Jedi Fighting)
Title:  Lessons Learned
: [personal profile] beatrice_otter
Rating: PG
Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin
Word Count: 1386
Written for: [personal profile] imadra_bluePrompt:
  I loves me some Obi-Wan, but everyone knows this. XD I'm open to anything, from birth to death (and beyond), but I'd be especially curious to see how you might interpret his background or childhood versus Anakin's background or childhood.
Author's Notes/Summary: Third birthdays, in the temple crèche and a slave ship.


beatrice_otter: Me in red--face not shown (Default)

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