beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
The other day two pieces of information converged in my head.

Information the first: people who experience dissociation (as many people do who have psychological conditions resulting from trauma or neglect in childhood, or other adverse childhood experiences) should probably not meditate or do other mindfulness exercises because generally, when they try to, they don't go into a meditative trance, they dissociate.  Which is not helpful, and sometimes not pleasant.  I mean, according to some sources it apparently is possible to learn not to, but you need some specialized instruction.

Information the second: do you think the Jedi "release your emotions to the Force" Order knows this or would have ANY clue what the heck was going on?  Given that they don't seem to have any way of identifying or dealing with trauma besides "meditate and release it to the Force"?

This is relevant for just about any Jedi who suffers a lot of trauma, but it is ESPECIALLY relevant for Anakin, who, may I remind you, was a SLAVE for most of his childhood and while I'm sure Shmi tried to protect him as much as she could, I'm also sure that as a slave herself there was NO WAY she could have protected him from all the shit that would have been common in a slave's life.  Given that, as far as we can tell from the Jedi Order's traditions and practices he probably didn't receive any actual therapeutic help dealing with all of that, and that a Jedi's life is QUITE likely to send them back into potentially traumatizing situations even from a young age, it is quite likely that he has an undiagnosed psychological disorder of some sort, and there is a very good chance that he dissociates.

Which brings me to a question.  Is it canon or fanon that Anakin hates meditating and isn't very good at it?  I've only ever seen it with the subtext of "well of course he's emotional and passionate, so of course he wouldn't like meditating."  Not that I know many people who meditate regularly, but I can tell you for a fact that at least some emotional and passionate people can and do get quite a lot out of meditation.

Whether Anakin's meditative difficulties are canon or fanon, though, it strikes me that Obi-Wan/Yoda/the Order as a whole might see this as just another instance of someone who is too emotional to be a proper Jedi, and completely and totally miss any dissociation and attendant difficulties.
beatrice_otter: Han and Leia--Kiss (Han and Leia)
You guys FAIL SO HARD.  How, how, how, how, HOW has NOBODY recced this fic to me?  This is like, my JAM.  It is what I have been waiting YEARS for.  It is a 200k word (for now) Star Wars time travel AU where Leia goes back in time from the end of TFA to the beginning of ANH.  And changes everything.  It is a WONDERFUL story, an incredibly fresh and novel take on one of my favorite tropes, the characters are so wonderfully written (and you can tell the author has a great grasp on the characters to get them so well in situations that are so different from what they were in the original timeline), THIS FIC IS SO AWESOME AND YOU NEED TO READ IT NOW.

(If you're not fond of WIPs, it doesn't end on a cliffhanger or anything.)

(Also, the summary is in 1st person, but that's because it's dialogue from the first chapter--the story isn't written in 1st person, if that's a dealbreaker for you.)

Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns (199023 words) by chancecraz
Chapters: 15/?
Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Leia Organa, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bail Organa, Breha Organa, CT-7567 | Rex, Mon Mothma, Davits Draven
Additional Tags: Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Skywalker Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Torture, Angst
Summary: I went to sleep on the worst day of my life and woke to find myself in the past on the second worst day of my life. As experiences go, I don’t recommend it.
beatrice_otter: Vader and Leia (Vader and Leia)
I bought a vid at the Vividcon Auction, from the lovely and talented [personal profile] grammarwoman! My music tastes are eclectic and nonstandard (basically, everything BUT modern popular pop/rock and modern country--it's not that I don't like them, it's that it all tends to blend together and sound the same), and I don't vid, which means there are a lot of songs that I think would make AWESOME fanvids that I know nobody will ever make, sigh.  (Okay, some of them might get made.  I'm actually surprised that nobody's done a Spock vid to The Logical Song by Supertramp, or a Goa'uld vid to Jeepers Creepers by Louis Armstrong.  Others ... I might think a werewolf vid to the old Big Band classic "Moonlight Becomes You So" would be hilarious, but I doubt anybody else would think it was funny enough to spend the time and effort to make, particularly given that it's a slow song and most vids are done to upbeat/fast songs.)

Anyway, I have a number vid ideas that will never get made if I don't pay someone else to do it, and so I'm always on the lookout for vid auctions featuring vidders offering those sources that I think would do a creditable job with the idea.  Which is how I bidded on (and ended up winning) [personal profile] grammarwoman's services to make a Star Wars fanvid to that old American Civil War hit, "That's What's the Matter."  And she did a really great job, and the vid is SO FUNNY.  You have to go see.

Title: That's What's the Matter
Source: Star Wars movies (Rogue One, Episodes IV-VII)
Music: "That's What's the Matter", Stephen Foster
Vid Download Link: 183 MB m4v file at Sendspace (If you'd like it in a different format, let me know.)

AO3 link.
DW link.

Summary: The Empire would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling Rebels and incompetent Imperial officers.
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
I just realized that after the [community profile] starwarsrollingremix authors were revealed, I never posted my story here! There was one starter story, The Devil in the Dust by [ profile] sevenofspade, and three chains of remixes. I was the first remix in my chain. It was an interesting experience. Obviously, we didn't get to pick what story we remixed, and we only got two weeks from the first time we got it to the due date. So there wasn't any time to ponder or think, you just had to get it and go. It wasn't a fic I would have picked to remix; for one thing, I'm pretty sure there were some thematic stuff going on that I was missing that would make the plot make sense. But I didn't have time to let it sit and ponder it, even though that feeling of missing something crucial made me really leery about remixing it. Remixing works best, imo, when you take something to pieces and play with the guts of it. But you can't do that if you're not quite sure what the guts ARE. Which left me ignoring theme and plot and doing a character remix.. But it was a time travel/vision thing--none of the three characters were from the same time period, so I could either just ... retell the story (boring!) or take the setting (desert) and the characters and look at how the deserts they grew up in shaped them. And throw in some meta about the Force while we're at it, because they're all strong in the Force. So that's how I ended up with my story.

As to the title, both the desert and the Force are vast beyond knowing, and the remix subtitle refers to both the problems I was having pinning down the original fic well enough to remix it, and to the old saying the devil is in the details (picking up on the title of the original).

Title: Vast Beyond Knowing (The Details Remix)
Fandom: Star Wars: Original Trilogy, Prequel Trilogy, Sequel Trilogy
Author: [personal profile] beatrice_otter 
Rating: kid
Length: 5,579 words
Betaed By: [personal profile] anghraine 
Written for: Star Wars Rolling Remix 2017
Summary: Anakin, Luke, Rey. The desert taught them much. But not everything.

At AO3

Anakin wasn't a baby. He knew how things worked. )
beatrice_otter: Vader and Leia (Vader and Leia)
So, waaaaaaaaaay back in 2008, when fandom was still mostly on LJ and AO3 was only just beginning to be talked about but was not yet open, I was discouraged because there was like no Star Wars activity on LJ.  You had to go to other websites for it, pretty much.  And even then, the activity from the prequels was dying down and Clone Wars was only just starting, so there was a bit of a lull anyway.  So I decided to do something about it!  I ran my first and only ficathon, the [ profile] starwarsficfest.  And I had vague ideas about doing a second run of it, but that never materialized.

So, having just remembered it, I imported it so that the stories are now at [community profile] starwarsficfest. Interesting thing: I didn't build any long-term relationships with any of the people who wrote for it at the time, and none of them have since claimed their LJ OpenID on Dreamwidth.  But!  One of them, [personal profile] fialleril ([ profile] fialleril ) is someone I follow on tumblr.  I love their fic and meta!

beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
There are twelve stories, one original and eleven remixes; there are three remix streams.  One of those stories is mine!  The challenge: can you tell which one is mine?  Can you tell who wrote any of them in particular?  Can you figure out which order they were written in?

Personally, I found it fascinating to see the differences (and similarities), and to see just how far afield we went from the original.  In all three streams.
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
Mostly what I need is someone to tell me if everyone is in character and if it hangs together on a meta level.
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
Disclaimer: I have never read much of the old EU having to do with the prequels, and nothing since that became Legends and they started over with a new EU.  I consider the EU, past and present, to be a secondary canon, from which I can grab any neat and/or interesting things, but which I can also discard when I think it's stupid or doesn't make sense.

There is a question that has bothered me since I first watched Attack of the Clones in theaters over a decade ago.  Well, no, it hasn't bothered me, but an assumption I made about canon as perfectly obvious seems to never have occurred to either the Powers That Be at Lucasfilm, or to anyone in fandom, even those who (as I do) take a fluid approach to the EU.  And the issue is this: how sure are we that Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas was the one who actually ordered those clones?

Here is what we know from the movies and the cartoons:
  1. The Kaminoans believe that a Jedi Master named Sifo-Dyas ordered the clones, complete with the "aggression inhibiting" chip that turned out to actually be ol' Palpy's mind control.
  2. The Kaminoans have pretty much no contact with the Jedi prior to Obi-Wan showing up.  They keep to themselves, they aren't really involved in the Republic at all.  Which is to say, if a Force-user showed up in Jedi robes and called themself Sifo-Dyas, how would the Kaminoans check the identity?
  3. Jango Fett, the guy the clones are cloned from, was not hired by Sifo-Dyas.  He was hired by a guy named Tyranous, which just happens to be Count Dooku's Sith name.
  4. Sifo-Dyas died around the time that the clone army was ordered.

Now, there are three possibilities.  Either Sifo-Dyas was an active participant in the conspiracy to start the Clone Wars, or he was a patsy manipulated by Palpatine and Dooku into ordering a clone army, or Sifo-Dyas wasn't the one who ordered the clones at all.  Let's consider them one by one.
  1. Sifo-Dyas is also a fallen Jedi, he just didn't leave the Order.  Or maybe he was still on the side of light but believed that the Republic was too corrupt and needed to be destroyed.  Either way, he wants the Clone Wars to happen, and he is an active conspirator in getting the ball rolling by creating an army that will appear just at the right time to kick things off.  If this is the case, why did he die?  It seems to me that it would be a staggering coincidence if he just HAPPENED to die right then, right after ordering the clones.  I suppose it's possible, but unlikely.  It's also possible that there was a falling-out among thieves, but (witness Pong Krell) it would seem to be more like Palpatine and Dooku's modus operandi to leave him in the Jedi Order where he can be stirring the pot and causing bad things from inside, and then kill him or extract him later when his usefulness is actually at an end.
  2. Sifo-Dyas was a patsy manipulated by Palpatine and/or Dooku into doing their will and ordering the clones.  This seems to be the tack that EVERYBODY AND THEIR BROTHER, from Lucasfilm on down, assumes.  But it's never really made sense to me.  I mean, wow, that is some serious manipulation.  Okay, so I can totally see Palpatine getting some poor Jedi all in a twist with visions like Anakin's, but Anakin's were relatively straightforward and simple: person you love is in danger, Jedi can't save them, I can.  The actions prompted by those visions are, at heart, very simple and straightforward.  Worried about loved one?  Turn to the dark side and save them!  Problem solved!  .... traveling outside the Republic to a secretive race of beings with specialized technology to create an army of clones, when the Republic hasn't even HAD an army for centuries, an army that's going to take ten years to create, that's ... that's so out of left field, I have no idea how you would manipulate someone into doing that.  It's nowhere near the normal Jedi playbook, it's nowhere near the Republic playbook, it's taking what was (at the time) business as usual and catastrophizing it to the nth degree.  Like, what kind of visions would do that?  I don't even have a clue.  This is a REALLY COMPLICATED plot, with lots of moving parts.  Like money.  All those clones, ten years of growth and training, it could not have been cheap.  If Sifo-Dyas was manipulated into doing it, where did he think the money came from?  Where DID the money come from?  How was he convinced to use it in that way?  I mean, if it were me, and I was a Jedi getting visions of some sort of future catastrophe involving the Jedi and a war or something, I wouldn't use a fortune to create a clone army.  I would use that fortune to hire the best PR and lobbying firm in the Republic to try and sway public opinion to prevent it that way.  I mean, I suppose it's possible, but it has never seemed especially LIKELY.
  3. It wasn't Sifo-Dyas at all.  Palpatine and Dooku hatch the plot, and Palpatine as Chancellor is a little to recognizeable and in the spotlight to play the part of the Jedi to the Kaminoans.  Dooku can't go as himself, because then when the Jedi find out about the clones (and they have to, to be able to use them), it will be obvious that it is a trap of some sort, because why would he create clones that he would then have to fight, and if he were going to create the clones and then decided to fight the Republic, why not either a) make the clones loyal to himself, and not the Jedi, or b) just stop the order entirely?  So he picks the name of a Jedi recently dead or whom he kills himself.  This way, it's a legitimate name the Kaminoans can check, but nobody will be able to ask the Jedi in question "hey, did you create that clone army?" and find out that somebody was impersonating him.  This way, the Jedi are asking "why did Sifo-Dyas create a clone army?" and not "why does somebody want us to think Sifo-Dyas created a clone army?"  Then he goes and hires Jango Fett to be the model, and uses his own (new Sith) name because while he wants a little anonymity, he also wants to be able to hire Jango for stuff on the side of the Separatists.

Option three, where it wasn't Sifo-Dyas it was Dooku all along, has always seemed to me to be the simplest and most direct answer.  And I was pretty sure that's what they were hinting at by pointedly having Obi-Wan be surprised it was Sifo-Dyas because he died around then, and also by having Jango Fett pointedly tell Obi-Wan that no, Sifo-Dyas didn't hire him, Tyranous (a Sith name if there ever was one) did.  Like, I came out of the theater thinking that was A BLINKING RED NEON SIGN THAT THERE WERE NO JEDI INVOLVED IN THE CREATION OF THE CLONES, and expected that to be a plot point in the next movie.  And I have spent the past fourteen years bemused that everybody seems to take the Kaminoans statement that Sifo-Dyas ordered the clones at face value.
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
Interconnected Loops of the Universe (1829 words) by tielan
Fandom: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Rating: General Audiences
Characters: Maz Kanata
Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Living, History, herstory
Summary: A story of beginnings and endings.

Really interesting look at Maz's backstory.  My only complaint is that I wish it were longer!
beatrice_otter: Finn holding a blue lightsaber (Finn)
The thing about Rey is that for her to be a Skywalker would betray her whole thematic arc from The Force Awakens, in ways that would be really unfortunate for some of the people who identify with her.  She really has two: first and most obviously, "I'm no one," who becomes powerful.  She doesn't have fancy background or training, she's not some mystical Chosen One, she just steps up and claims her strength and succeeds.  That's a powerful message to send, not just to girls but to all people.

Second, she suffered because of (as far as she knows) her family.  She had years of abandonment, hunger, terrible conditions, because of what was done to her as a child.  Through it all, she had this idea in her head that if they would just come back--they, the very people who left her to that--everything would be fine.  That there would be a happy family.  But she is the one sinned against, here.  There are so many people (and I work with some of them) who have been abused and/or abandoned by their families.  Most of the time, reconciliation is not possible because the abusive family is not willing to change to become non-abusive or non-neglectful.  Any reconciliation requires the victim to make excuses for and buy into the abuser's story, at great cost to their own mental and emotional stability and healing.  (Yes, I know, there may have been extenuating circumstances.  That does not negate the damage Rey has suffered.)  Our society privileges "heartwarming reunion" even if it means papering over and ignoring the damage done.  I want more than that for Rey, and I want more than that for the people who identify with her.  I appreciate that her arc was to let go of her idealization that "when they come back for me, everything will be fine," and go on to a new life not dictated by the family that (whether intentionally or not) left her in hell.

I will be very disappointed if Rey is secretly a Skywalker.  I really hope they're trying to fake us out, and it's Finn.  But regardless, I'd rather no new Skywalkers than Rey being one.
beatrice_otter: Finn holding a blue lightsaber (Finn)
Title: What Once Was Lost
Author: beatrice_otter
Fandom: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Characters: Finn, Rey, Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca, Leia Organa, Poe Dameron
Word count: 6,879
AN: This fic does not work with the official timeline. Looking things up, the destruction of Luke's Jedi Academy was only about six years before the beginning of The Force Awakens, although the movie seems to imply that it's been much longer. This plot bunny comes from all the fanon that Rey or Finn are lost Skywalker children who disappeared/were taken around the time of the destruction of the Jedi Academy, which obviously cannot be the case if they would have been older teens at the time of Kylo Ren's attack. (Either could still be a Skywalker, but their disappearance would have come earlier.)

At AO3

Rey thought that now they knew where Luke Skywalker was, someone would take off immediately to find him. )

AN: This is what I wrote instead of the next chapter of Past Lives.
beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
So, the first episode with Mortis and the Father, Son, and Daughter who personify the Force, and Anakin who is supposed to stay and take the Father's place and keep the Force in balance.  Two questions I have that I think would result in really interesting fics, which I would like to read if anything like them exists:

1) What would have happened if Anakin had chosen to do what the Father asked, and stay?  What would have happened to Anakin, how would he have changed as he worked to keep the Daughter and Son in balance?  And what would have happened to the rest of the Galaxy?  If Mortis is the Force, how would changes there have affected things?  How would it have affected the course of the war, and the Jedi Order, and the Sith?  (Would Padme, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka have been allowed to visit?)

2) What would have happened if Anakin hadn't died on the Death Star, and went to Mortis instead of to the Rebellion with Luke?  (For example, if he knew he was dying and bacta couldn't save him and maybe the Force, strengthened and personified at Mortis, could?)  How would that have affected things, both with Anakin and the Force, the Jedi, the New Republic, and the rise of the First Order and the Resistance?  Especially if Luke and Leia somehow became the new Son and Daughter.

I hope these fics already exist, because I would LOVE to read a long, plotty exploration of this idea.  But I'm already working on a Star Wars WIP, so.

beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
I can find lists of all the named clone troopers in the Clone Wars.  What I haven't found, so far, is a list in order of either appearance or when they died, (or preferably both!) in the internal chronological order of the show (not the aired order, which is really screwed up).

Anyone know where I can find such a thing?

beatrice_otter: Jedi fighting against a blue background (blue Jedi)
Fundamental Force Carriers (87796 words) by tanarill
Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Yoda
Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Son (Clone Wars), The Father (Clone Wars), Yoda, Mace Windu, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Padmé Amidala, CT-7567 | Rex, CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-6116 | Kix, Aang (Star Wars), OMC, OFC, Jocasta Nu, Quinlan Vos, Asajj Ventress, Pong Krell, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Plo Koon, R2-D2, Dooku | Darth Tyranus, Grievous | Qymaen jai Sheelal, CC-2224 | Cody, Saesee Tiin - Character, Oppo Rancisis, Adi Gallia, Even Piell, Han Solo, Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, Shaak Ti
Additional Tags: Time Travel, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Lightsabers, Meditation, Feels, Training, Jedi Training, Lightsaber Battles, The Force, The Dark Side of the Force, BAMF!Anakin, Clones, News Media, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Mathematics, Quantum Mechanics

Summary: The Sith Lord Darth Vader lived his life. He probably didn't live it well, but he lived it as well as he knew how. At the end there, he'd even managed to woman up and kill Sidious. But he was dying, and at peace with the past.  The past wasn't at peace with him.

This is quite possibly the best Star Wars time-travel fixit AU I've ever read.  It's got a very interesting spin on the trope, and it's compellingly written.


beatrice_otter: Me in red--face not shown (Default)

October 2017

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