![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Post a list of your top five fics favorite you've written, regardless of fandom or the reason you love them. This isn't about the BEST things you've written, but what you LOVE most. Then tag five other people to do the same.
This is hard, because my "favorite" tends to be whatever I'm working on atm. But I'll give it a shot.
My favorite fics:
Caro's Choice. Well, the first one isn't a fanfic, it's an original short story about a teenage girl living on Mars. It's not a Mary Sue, but it comes closer than anything else I've written, I think; it's also closer to early SF shorts than anything I've ever written. Since I'm fairly sure it's not online anywhere,
Chryse Planitia
“Well, let’s see what the damage is, girl,” Pops said as we trudged across the roof, his voice tinny in my ear from the cheap speaker in the faceplate of the hood. Our communications array had been damaged in the last dust storm – we were cut off from the world outside our homestead until either the array was fixed or someone drove the fifty kilometers across the Martian plains to the Jolsons, our nearest neighbors. That meant no school for us kids, no gossip with the neighbors, no entertainment channels, no weather watch, and, most critically, no help if something went wrong. That could be deadly, as we were all too well aware. Ma had died during a communications outage years ago. She probably would have died anyway, as far as we were from any medical assistance, but I always thought, maybe if we’d been able to get a doctor’s advice, we might have saved her.
“We’ll check the antenna, first,” he went on. It was only the second time I’d been allowed to help him fix the array. The one thing I hated about working Outside was the endless wait in the pressure chamber as our bodies adjusted to the lower pressure. The thermal suits compensated for most of it, of course, but they weren’t as effective as full spacesuits, so the wait was necessary to prevent the bends. I was young enough to still feel the novelty of being allowed outside the hermetically sealed bungalow and extensive rough-hewn caves digging into the Martian surface, and the jagged peaks of Tharsis rising majestically over our home on the southern edge of Chryse Planitia were more than compensation for the wind and dust that buffeted us about. And I didn’t mind the cold. His voice took on a singsong quality as he repeated the standard warnings. “Pay close attention, but don’t forget to keep an eye on your suit indicators and the sky, especially in the north. No coms means no weather alerts, and dust storms blow up real fast.” He paused until I nodded.
I did so, rolling my eyes, secure in the knowledge that the faceplate obscured my expression, as did his. I was old enough and had been Outside enough times to know all that by heart.
He gestured towards the antenna, or cluster of antenna, protruding from the sand-scoured surface of the roof. “Why don’t you do the diagnostic?”
***
I slid the hood off as the pressure finally equalized, hoping he’d let me watch a movie or do something fun. We’d done a good day’s work; I’d earned a break, and somebody else could handle the rest of the stuff. Pops took off his hood, too, and began deftly stripping out of the rest of the suit, revealing long johns and a dingy t-shirt underneath. He gave a hacking cough, trying to suppress it as he got dressed. “Don’t forget to check it over,” he reminded me as I shed my own suit, though less quickly.
“Yessir,” I said, keeping the annoyance out of my voice as I inspected every centimeter for wear and tear. Who did he think I was, a kid? I was almost fourteen.
The inner door of the pressure chamber hissed open, and Kelly, my eleven-year-old brother stood there, leaning against the doorway, fist resting on his hip. “Ray’s starting work on those parts you need,” he said, watching Pops hang the suit up in the locker, hooking the oxy tanks to the recharger. “Chores are done. I’m working on dinner, and I’ve got the little ones working ahead in their schoolbooks.”
Pops nodded. “Well, Caro,” he said to me, “let’s go check out Ray’s work.”
I sighed quietly as I followed him out.
We made our way down four flights of stairs to the shop. It was on the lowest inhabited level, just above the permafrost line. The only thing below it was the bed of algae slime we harvested and sent off to the pharmaceutical companies to bring in money, the cash crop that paid for anything we couldn’t grow or make ourselves.
The workshop was a chaotic-looking space, with fewer amenities than any of the upper levels, even the farm. One wall was iron, as was part of the floor; that was where the rock that most of the complex was dug into met permafrost. The rest was just bare racks on the stone walls, with various tools and pieces of equipment festooned in them. It was dark, except for the harsh spotlight above the main work area.
Ray sat on a stool, whistling tunelessly through chapped lips as he worked. “Hey, Boss,” he said. “Whatcha want?” He’d come to Mars on a prison ship, as so many did, to work the mines on Phobos. We’d hired him after his sentence was up, and aside from the usual problems you got dealing with a newly released con, he had done fine.
“Caro needs to watch this,” Pops said, reaching out for another stool and dragging it over.
“I know how to do it,” I said, but I sat down anyway. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t let me Outside to help you fix it, right?”
He gave me a long look, up and down, one eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth twisted skeptically.
I tried not to squirm. “Look,” I said, “I’ve taken apart and put the model back together again maybe five times. And I’ve fabricated just about every piece that can be fabricated in this shop. So either let me do it or let me go, ok?” I held my breath, hoping that he would agree. I pressed my lips shut against further argument, knowing that my father would either be convinced or he wouldn’t be, and that further words would only irritate him.
“Right,” he said laconically. “See if hydroponics needs work, then you can do whatever till supper.”
I grinned. “Thanks, Pops,” I said, pecking him on the cheek as I slid off the stool.
***
Hydroponics, the “farm” one level above the shop, was my favorite part of the homestead. I never tired of watching the plants growing in their tubs, closely packed together, under the warm light that mimicked what you got on Earth’s surface playing on the leaves. It reminded me of Ma; she’d loved it in here, and she’d told me stories as she worked about Earth, and what it was like to be able to go outside any time you liked without a pressure suit, to feel rain on your skin, to split the surface of a pool with a clean dive. I missed her.
I checked the work logs. We all had our daily duties, but sometimes the little ones, John and Kareem, who were only six, forgot bits of it. Sure enough, they had – one whole row hadn’t been sprayed with nutrients. Honestly, those two were so irresponsible sometimes; I almost regretted that we’d taken Kareem in after his parents’ death. One baby was enough for a family, in my opinion. I finished the job, grumbling under my breath. By the time I was done, it was dinnertime.
***
Next day Pops and I were back Outside, replacing the busted parts and bringing the old ones inside for repair. “That’s it, that’s a girl, nice ‘n easy,” he kept repeating as I slid the parts in.
“You want to do this?” I said, almost successful in keeping annoyance out of my voice as I tried to relax my shoulders. Despite my words of the night before, rebuilding a model of the unit inside was one thing; trying to do it Outside, hands made clumsy by the therm suit was quite another. And his litany wasn’t helping.
“No. You’re going to need to do this when you’re all grown up, and have a place of your own. Best you learn now, while I’m here to help.”
“Ok, then.” I closed my eyes and then opened them wide again before sliding the last piece back in place. I fed a trickle of power to it, grinning as the diagnostic came back good. I switched my com over to Ray’s frequency, inside the house. “How’s it look? Getting a signal?”
“Yeah,” he said, “we’re getting the locator signal from the satellite, all right.”
“Now power it up,” Pops said.
“Right.”
“Still good,” Ray said.
The job finished, we sealed up the hatch and took down the work shield we’d used to keep the dust out. “Did good, Caro,” Dad said as we turned to go. “Real good. You could’ve done it by yourself if you had to.”
I felt my shoulders straighten. He seldom gave praise, but when he did, it meant something. “Thanks, Pops.”
Suddenly he gave a grunt and hunched over.
“Pops? Pops!” He didn’t answer immediately.
“Got hit,” he said, his voice rough, taking another step towards the airlock. “Right arm. Pressure’s dropping, so’s temp.”
I froze. That was bad, very very very bad. My thoughts tumbled around like a child caught in a dust storm. The human body wasn’t designed for this. It was –80° C out here. Plus windchill. And only five and a half millibars of atmospheric pressure. Earth had 1013. Your therm suit got hit with a rock, and got a hole or tear, and—
“God damnit, Caro!” Pops said, interrupting my panic. “Don’t just stand there! I can’t . . .” His voice trailed off, but it was enough to galvanize me into motion.
“Ok, Pops,” I said, grabbing his left arm to support him and heading towards the lock as fast as I could. “I’m here, I’ve got you. Ray,” I switched back to the house frequency, “Dad’s been hit. Losing pressure and temp. Call the Jolsons. We’re still about six meters from the lock.” He didn’t answer. “Ray?” I asked, fighting down panic.
“Oh, God,” he said, finally. “Oh my holy God.”
“Ray! Call the Jolsons. Ellie Jolson’s got paramedic training.” I knew first aid, of course, we all did. But I didn’t know if that was going to be enough. “We’re gonna need her!” I could hear Ray breathing heavily.
“Call the Jolsons, right.” His voice sounded stronger, as if having a task to do helped. “Anything else?”
“How should I know?” I blinked furiously, trying to clear my eyes of the tears that were beginning to form. The last thing I needed was to have my vision blurred, and I had no way of wiping them away.
“Kids,” Pops said. He must’ve switched his com over to the house frequency as well. “Keep the kids occupied. I don’t want ’em worrying.”
We were almost to the lock, built down into the roof itself so we didn’t have to climb stairs Outside to reach the com array. He was staggering by this time, leaning heavily on me, pressing me down. He wasn’t that big of a man, but he wasn’t small, either, and I was built like Ma, thin boned and stringy.
We reached the airlock. I let go of Pops slowly, letting him stand on his own. I needed to kneel and key open the lock. It wasn’t much, just a few touches. I glanced up to see Pops listing to the side as the hatch slid open. “Pops!” I cried, catching him as he fell. Except, he out massed me by a whole lot, so he took me down with him. I cushioned his fall a bit, though. His right arm flopped against me. “Shit.” I flinched at the size of the gash in his suit. That must have been some rock that got him. Then I realized that there was no way his arm should be bent like that, and saw the rust color of frozen blood around the edges. When he’d said he’d been hit, he hadn’t just meant the suit was compromised.
It was only a few seconds, but it felt longer, that I sat there staring at that arm. Ray’s voice snapped me out of it.
“Caro? Caroline, talk to me.” His voice quavered
“I’m here, Ray. Pops, can you hear me?” I shook him, my voice rising with every word. There was no response. I took a deep breath. “Ray, we’re at the lock but Pops isn’t responding. I don’t think he’s conscious. I’m gonna drag him downstairs, ok?”
“Ok, Caro.”
Sliding myself out from under him, I wrapped my arms around his chest under his armpits just like the first-aid book said. I couldn’t stand up with him, he was too heavy, but I could kind of scootch us both along on my knees. The fall had knocked us about 60 centimeters from the opening; I was just grateful we hadn’t fallen in. We reached the stairs and I almost fell in; I had to go backwards because of how I was holding Pops. “Ray,” I said as I began clambering down, “you’re going to have to shut the outer lock and start bringing the pressure up on override, because I can’t get out from under Pops to do it.”
“O-ok,” he said. “Tell me when. I told Kelly to take the kids in and put on a movie. They don’t know what’s happened yet. I didn’t know what else to do with them – just wanted them out of the way so I –”
“Ray, close the lock!” All of Pops was through the lock, now, his feet trailing above us as I dragged him down the steps. I could feel my ears pop as the pressure began, ever so slowly, to increase. Once we reached the floor I stretched Dad out to get a better look at him. Of course, with the suit on I couldn’t really tell. I grabbed the first-aid kit off the wall, gripping it tightly to keep my hands from trembling as I opened it. I took a deep breath as I glanced over the contents. “Ray, how long were we out there after Pops got hit?”
“’Bout three minutes, I think. If you called right away it couldn’t have been much longer.”
I shook my head. It felt like hours, to me. But such a short time between suit-breach and entering the chamber meant that we didn’t have to take repressurization slower than normal. I kneeled down and adjusted his mask manually to give him the highest oxygen flow possible. “Ok, let’s take a look at the arm,” I muttered to myself, peering at the gash. I didn’t want to take the therm suit off him yet, because compromised or no it was still doing at least part of its job, and the pressure and temperature in here weren’t anywhere near what they would be inside, yet. I tugged the arm as straight as possible.
I pressed gauze pads over the wound to stop the bleeding. Outside the temperature was so low the blood had frozen. Now that we were warming up, it was thawing, and I didn’t want him to lose too much blood. I gave him a shot of painkiller and covered him with a thermal blanket kept in the locker for such an emergency, and waited.
***
Ellie Jolson and her son Mike were there by the time the pressure equalized. They had an aircar, to make the trip shorter; the extra money Ellie brought in with her skills made it possible and her work made it necessary. She bustled in and took over, and I don’t think I’d ever in my life been so relieved to see a grownup. I stretched, rolling my shoulders and neck to get the kinks out, and stripped out of my suit as she began peeling Pops out. He was still unconscious. I didn’t bug her, asking how he was, much as I would have liked to, knowing from long experience she wouldn’t say anything until she was damn good and ready to, and asking before then would only annoy her.
“Can I help?” I asked after putting my suit away.
“Nope,” Ellie said brusquely, shoving a strand of black hair out of her eyes but not turning to look at me. “See to your brothers.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said. Mike gave me a sympathetic smile as I brushed past him, teeth glinting white in his dark face. I nodded back to him, glad of his presence. He was the only kid near my age in the area, and we’d always been great friends. It would be good to have him here, especially if . . . I bit my lip, refusing to think about it.
***
“Caro, what’s going on?” Kelly said as I came into the living room. Kareem turned off the TV, and the three boys turned to face me expectantly. “Why do we have company? And why was Ray so anxious for us to stay in here?”
I swallowed, wishing Ray or someone else was here to tell them. “Pops got hit, in the arm, while we were Outside,” I whispered. “The rock must’ve been pretty big, judging the size of the hole it left and the amount of damage it did. I don’t” I paused, scrubbing at my eyes to get the tears out, “know how bad it is. Ellie and Mike are here now to take care of him.”
The boys were still. Kelly stood stiffly, face white as a sheet but no tears, trying so hard to be brave. He was old enough to remember Ma, and her death, as I was, and the little ones weren’t. For him, and me, it was worse. We knew how bad it could be.
John was crying, and Kareem had sat down on the cold floor with a dazed look in his eyes, as if he didn’t understand. I had to prepare them, somehow, so that if we lost Pops, it wouldn’t be so sudden. True, the wound missed any vital organs, but Martian atmospheric pressure and temperature and shock could kill him real easy. “He’s probably going to be fine,” I said at last. “Though it may take him a while to recover. We’re all going to have to work harder.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, praying for courage. “But you’ve got to understand, there’s a chance . . . that . . . ” My voice trailed off, and I found my throat so tight with unshed tears that I couldn’t go on.
“That what, Caro?” Kareem said in his high-pitched voice, looking at me with absolute trust, as if he believed his big sister would make it all right. I stared at him, seeing the baby he’d been when he’d come to us. His parents had died, and he’d needed a wet-nurse, and Ma had been the only woman in the area with a nursing child at the time. It would be the second time he’d been orphaned, if Pops died. I just couldn’t say it.
“That he’s gonna die,” Kelly burst out, and charged blindly from the room. I could hear the door of the boys’ room his shut and the lock click on.
“Is he?” John asked. “Is Pops gonna die?” His voice quavered.
“I don’t know.” I gathered both the little ones in my arms, holding them as Pops had held me when Ma died. “I just don’t know.”
***
By the time Ellie and Mike were finished and had Pops laid out, I’d fed the little ones and put them to bed. Kelly was lying face to the wall, and wouldn’t talk to me, but I could tell he was listening when I sang the younger ones to sleep.
I’d found Ray in the kitchen, stuffing his face. He did that a lot when he was nervous or scared. So I sent him to finish the chores. Funny, he didn’t mind taking orders from me, though he’d never allowed me to tell him what to do before.
I was waiting for Ellie and Mike when they came out of Pops’ room.
“Well?” I asked.
“He’ll be out for a few days, but he’ll live,” Ellie said, though Mike wouldn’t meet my eyes and even the indomitable Ellie seemed tired.
“But?” I said when neither of them seemed anxious to go on.
“But he’ll never use that arm again,” Ellie said. “I’m sorry, girl. There was nothing we could do. The object hit the main artery.” She shook her head, then looked me straight in the eye and said firmly: “You did good to get him in so fast, though, and your first-aid was right on target.”
“Thank you, Ma’am,” I said, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders. “Now what happens?”
Ellie sighed. “With your father laid up for weeks, and only half-effective when he’s back to work, and just a con hired man to take care of you kids and see things get done, I don’t see there’s any way to make a go of this place. I’ll stay for a few days, but I’d like to take Pops home with me, and divide you kids up among the neighbors. Once he’s better, he can help us out. We’ve been meaning to get another hired hand, anyway, and under the circumstances, it’s the least we can do. You kids will be taken care of, but we don’t have room or money to take all of you.”
“Split up?” I whispered, appalled. “We can’t leave here, it’s our home.”
“I’m sorry, Caroline. I know it’ll be hard, but . . .” she trailed off, and tried to lay a hand on my shoulder in motherly sympathy. I shook it off.
“Excuse me,” I mumbled.
***
“Kelly,” I whispered, shaking his shoulder. “Kelly, come on. We’ve got to talk.” I couldn’t tell if he was really asleep or just faking it. “Kelly, come on.” I glanced over at the little ones in their bed, relieved that they hadn’t woken.
Kelly mumbled something incoherent and slid off the bed, taking his quilt with him. “What d’you want?” he asked.
I touched a finger to my lips and led him out of the room going to find Ray.
***
We found him in Hydroponics, staring at the O2/CO2 exchange tanks as if hypnotized, watching the algae sway in the water currents.
“We have to talk,” I said, tugging at his arm to get his attention. “Pops is going to be laid up for a while and lose the use of the arm. Ellie doesn’t think we can keep the place. She wants to take Pops in as a hired man and split us kids up among the neighbors. Ray, you’d be on your own, though I’m sure Pops’d give you a good recommendation.”
“We have to leave?” Kelly said, frowning in bewilderment, hugging the quilt tighter. I don’t think that was a possibility either of us had considered.
“Ray, what do you think?” I asked, hoping that as the adult he would know what to do.
“I dunno, Caro,” he said hesitantly, leaning against the tank. “Ellie’s pretty smart.”
“I don’t want to leave,” Kelly said. I could hear the break in his voice.
“I don’t want to, either,” I said, frowning. I began pacing, up and down the rows of vegetables. “Pops ran this place just fine for a year, before Ray came. And none of us kids were old enough to be much help. We got Ray, and Pops has taught me a lot about running this place, and you too. I think we can do it ourselves.”
“I can do lots of things,” Kelly said proudly. “Sure we can.”
“Hey, now, wait a minute,” Ray said, standing up straight and looking back and forth between the two of us. “I don’t know all that much about running this place, and neither do you kids. Your Pops works longer hours than I think you two realize. There’s a lot he does that none of us know anything about. And this isn’t just taking the place over for a few days or even a few weeks we’re talking about, here. This is the rest of your lives. ‘Cause from what you said, the Boss isn’t going to be in any shape to handle the labor himself. Ever. I know you don’t want to get split up. But I just don’t see how you can do it.”
“I thought you’d be on our side,” Kelly said loudly. “I thought you’d understand.”
“Now, Kelly. I don’t want to see you–”
“Will you two stop fighting?” I said, glaring at the two of them. “It’s a long shot, but it’s no shot at all if we can’t get along. So stuff it. Ray, thanks for the advice, but remember you’re the hired man. Kelly and I think we can do this. We’re sure as hell going to try, anyway. You for us or against us?”
Ray shrugged, and went back to leaning against the tank. “Yeah, sure. It’s your homestead and your lives. You’re crazy enough to do this, it’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to go. I just don’t think we can do it, is all.”
“You do realize,” I hesitated, then rushed on. “You do realize we probably aren’t going to be able to pay much, at first?”
Ray snorted. “Not like you pay me much, now.”
“Great,” I said, smiling for the first time since Pops had been hit.
***
We found Ellie and Mike in the kitchen, sitting at the table. She looked me up and down as I finished our proposal, head cocked skeptically to the side. I held my breath, waiting for her reply, sure she was going to try to tell me to go to bed like a good girl and start packing in the morning. But “Your decision,” was all she said, then turned back to the news fax she’d been reading before our interruption.
My jaw dropped. That was it?
I must have spoken aloud, or perhaps she knew what I was thinking, for she turned back to me. “I guess you’re old enough to handle it,” she said. “You can keep your brothers in line and keep things going till Pops gets on his feet again. Won’t be easy, but you already know that. Just remember, you find you can’t make it go, the offer’s still open.
“There’s a lot of stuff has to get done in the morning, which it isn’t that far off now. Better go to bed; it’s gonna be a long day tomorrow, Caroline.”
“I know.”
Adrift. To fly a Wraith hive ship, you must be a Wraith. I love it because it's one of those stories that feels more like I was a conduit for it than that I wrote it.
Pale Battalions. Teal'c goes home after a glorious battle in Apophis' name. Because pre-series Teal'c doesn't get enough love.
The rest of my favorites are all currently WIPs, which means they're not posted anywhere, but if I had to choose favorites of the ones that are posted online, here's how it would go.
Family Relationships. When Carter visits her father, she finds they both have surprises. Season 8. Because I love the Tok'ra and there isn't enough good Tok'ra fic out there, and it's the first part in a series, the third part of which I have an intense love/hate relationship with, and have had since November of 2004.
What She Wants. Because Faith is Fun.
I'm gonna copy![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kellifer_fic shamefully, and take the easy way out by just tagging all of you.
This is hard, because my "favorite" tends to be whatever I'm working on atm. But I'll give it a shot.
My favorite fics:
Caro's Choice. Well, the first one isn't a fanfic, it's an original short story about a teenage girl living on Mars. It's not a Mary Sue, but it comes closer than anything else I've written, I think; it's also closer to early SF shorts than anything I've ever written. Since I'm fairly sure it's not online anywhere,
Chryse Planitia
“Well, let’s see what the damage is, girl,” Pops said as we trudged across the roof, his voice tinny in my ear from the cheap speaker in the faceplate of the hood. Our communications array had been damaged in the last dust storm – we were cut off from the world outside our homestead until either the array was fixed or someone drove the fifty kilometers across the Martian plains to the Jolsons, our nearest neighbors. That meant no school for us kids, no gossip with the neighbors, no entertainment channels, no weather watch, and, most critically, no help if something went wrong. That could be deadly, as we were all too well aware. Ma had died during a communications outage years ago. She probably would have died anyway, as far as we were from any medical assistance, but I always thought, maybe if we’d been able to get a doctor’s advice, we might have saved her.
“We’ll check the antenna, first,” he went on. It was only the second time I’d been allowed to help him fix the array. The one thing I hated about working Outside was the endless wait in the pressure chamber as our bodies adjusted to the lower pressure. The thermal suits compensated for most of it, of course, but they weren’t as effective as full spacesuits, so the wait was necessary to prevent the bends. I was young enough to still feel the novelty of being allowed outside the hermetically sealed bungalow and extensive rough-hewn caves digging into the Martian surface, and the jagged peaks of Tharsis rising majestically over our home on the southern edge of Chryse Planitia were more than compensation for the wind and dust that buffeted us about. And I didn’t mind the cold. His voice took on a singsong quality as he repeated the standard warnings. “Pay close attention, but don’t forget to keep an eye on your suit indicators and the sky, especially in the north. No coms means no weather alerts, and dust storms blow up real fast.” He paused until I nodded.
I did so, rolling my eyes, secure in the knowledge that the faceplate obscured my expression, as did his. I was old enough and had been Outside enough times to know all that by heart.
He gestured towards the antenna, or cluster of antenna, protruding from the sand-scoured surface of the roof. “Why don’t you do the diagnostic?”
***
I slid the hood off as the pressure finally equalized, hoping he’d let me watch a movie or do something fun. We’d done a good day’s work; I’d earned a break, and somebody else could handle the rest of the stuff. Pops took off his hood, too, and began deftly stripping out of the rest of the suit, revealing long johns and a dingy t-shirt underneath. He gave a hacking cough, trying to suppress it as he got dressed. “Don’t forget to check it over,” he reminded me as I shed my own suit, though less quickly.
“Yessir,” I said, keeping the annoyance out of my voice as I inspected every centimeter for wear and tear. Who did he think I was, a kid? I was almost fourteen.
The inner door of the pressure chamber hissed open, and Kelly, my eleven-year-old brother stood there, leaning against the doorway, fist resting on his hip. “Ray’s starting work on those parts you need,” he said, watching Pops hang the suit up in the locker, hooking the oxy tanks to the recharger. “Chores are done. I’m working on dinner, and I’ve got the little ones working ahead in their schoolbooks.”
Pops nodded. “Well, Caro,” he said to me, “let’s go check out Ray’s work.”
I sighed quietly as I followed him out.
We made our way down four flights of stairs to the shop. It was on the lowest inhabited level, just above the permafrost line. The only thing below it was the bed of algae slime we harvested and sent off to the pharmaceutical companies to bring in money, the cash crop that paid for anything we couldn’t grow or make ourselves.
The workshop was a chaotic-looking space, with fewer amenities than any of the upper levels, even the farm. One wall was iron, as was part of the floor; that was where the rock that most of the complex was dug into met permafrost. The rest was just bare racks on the stone walls, with various tools and pieces of equipment festooned in them. It was dark, except for the harsh spotlight above the main work area.
Ray sat on a stool, whistling tunelessly through chapped lips as he worked. “Hey, Boss,” he said. “Whatcha want?” He’d come to Mars on a prison ship, as so many did, to work the mines on Phobos. We’d hired him after his sentence was up, and aside from the usual problems you got dealing with a newly released con, he had done fine.
“Caro needs to watch this,” Pops said, reaching out for another stool and dragging it over.
“I know how to do it,” I said, but I sat down anyway. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t let me Outside to help you fix it, right?”
He gave me a long look, up and down, one eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth twisted skeptically.
I tried not to squirm. “Look,” I said, “I’ve taken apart and put the model back together again maybe five times. And I’ve fabricated just about every piece that can be fabricated in this shop. So either let me do it or let me go, ok?” I held my breath, hoping that he would agree. I pressed my lips shut against further argument, knowing that my father would either be convinced or he wouldn’t be, and that further words would only irritate him.
“Right,” he said laconically. “See if hydroponics needs work, then you can do whatever till supper.”
I grinned. “Thanks, Pops,” I said, pecking him on the cheek as I slid off the stool.
***
Hydroponics, the “farm” one level above the shop, was my favorite part of the homestead. I never tired of watching the plants growing in their tubs, closely packed together, under the warm light that mimicked what you got on Earth’s surface playing on the leaves. It reminded me of Ma; she’d loved it in here, and she’d told me stories as she worked about Earth, and what it was like to be able to go outside any time you liked without a pressure suit, to feel rain on your skin, to split the surface of a pool with a clean dive. I missed her.
I checked the work logs. We all had our daily duties, but sometimes the little ones, John and Kareem, who were only six, forgot bits of it. Sure enough, they had – one whole row hadn’t been sprayed with nutrients. Honestly, those two were so irresponsible sometimes; I almost regretted that we’d taken Kareem in after his parents’ death. One baby was enough for a family, in my opinion. I finished the job, grumbling under my breath. By the time I was done, it was dinnertime.
***
Next day Pops and I were back Outside, replacing the busted parts and bringing the old ones inside for repair. “That’s it, that’s a girl, nice ‘n easy,” he kept repeating as I slid the parts in.
“You want to do this?” I said, almost successful in keeping annoyance out of my voice as I tried to relax my shoulders. Despite my words of the night before, rebuilding a model of the unit inside was one thing; trying to do it Outside, hands made clumsy by the therm suit was quite another. And his litany wasn’t helping.
“No. You’re going to need to do this when you’re all grown up, and have a place of your own. Best you learn now, while I’m here to help.”
“Ok, then.” I closed my eyes and then opened them wide again before sliding the last piece back in place. I fed a trickle of power to it, grinning as the diagnostic came back good. I switched my com over to Ray’s frequency, inside the house. “How’s it look? Getting a signal?”
“Yeah,” he said, “we’re getting the locator signal from the satellite, all right.”
“Now power it up,” Pops said.
“Right.”
“Still good,” Ray said.
The job finished, we sealed up the hatch and took down the work shield we’d used to keep the dust out. “Did good, Caro,” Dad said as we turned to go. “Real good. You could’ve done it by yourself if you had to.”
I felt my shoulders straighten. He seldom gave praise, but when he did, it meant something. “Thanks, Pops.”
Suddenly he gave a grunt and hunched over.
“Pops? Pops!” He didn’t answer immediately.
“Got hit,” he said, his voice rough, taking another step towards the airlock. “Right arm. Pressure’s dropping, so’s temp.”
I froze. That was bad, very very very bad. My thoughts tumbled around like a child caught in a dust storm. The human body wasn’t designed for this. It was –80° C out here. Plus windchill. And only five and a half millibars of atmospheric pressure. Earth had 1013. Your therm suit got hit with a rock, and got a hole or tear, and—
“God damnit, Caro!” Pops said, interrupting my panic. “Don’t just stand there! I can’t . . .” His voice trailed off, but it was enough to galvanize me into motion.
“Ok, Pops,” I said, grabbing his left arm to support him and heading towards the lock as fast as I could. “I’m here, I’ve got you. Ray,” I switched back to the house frequency, “Dad’s been hit. Losing pressure and temp. Call the Jolsons. We’re still about six meters from the lock.” He didn’t answer. “Ray?” I asked, fighting down panic.
“Oh, God,” he said, finally. “Oh my holy God.”
“Ray! Call the Jolsons. Ellie Jolson’s got paramedic training.” I knew first aid, of course, we all did. But I didn’t know if that was going to be enough. “We’re gonna need her!” I could hear Ray breathing heavily.
“Call the Jolsons, right.” His voice sounded stronger, as if having a task to do helped. “Anything else?”
“How should I know?” I blinked furiously, trying to clear my eyes of the tears that were beginning to form. The last thing I needed was to have my vision blurred, and I had no way of wiping them away.
“Kids,” Pops said. He must’ve switched his com over to the house frequency as well. “Keep the kids occupied. I don’t want ’em worrying.”
We were almost to the lock, built down into the roof itself so we didn’t have to climb stairs Outside to reach the com array. He was staggering by this time, leaning heavily on me, pressing me down. He wasn’t that big of a man, but he wasn’t small, either, and I was built like Ma, thin boned and stringy.
We reached the airlock. I let go of Pops slowly, letting him stand on his own. I needed to kneel and key open the lock. It wasn’t much, just a few touches. I glanced up to see Pops listing to the side as the hatch slid open. “Pops!” I cried, catching him as he fell. Except, he out massed me by a whole lot, so he took me down with him. I cushioned his fall a bit, though. His right arm flopped against me. “Shit.” I flinched at the size of the gash in his suit. That must have been some rock that got him. Then I realized that there was no way his arm should be bent like that, and saw the rust color of frozen blood around the edges. When he’d said he’d been hit, he hadn’t just meant the suit was compromised.
It was only a few seconds, but it felt longer, that I sat there staring at that arm. Ray’s voice snapped me out of it.
“Caro? Caroline, talk to me.” His voice quavered
“I’m here, Ray. Pops, can you hear me?” I shook him, my voice rising with every word. There was no response. I took a deep breath. “Ray, we’re at the lock but Pops isn’t responding. I don’t think he’s conscious. I’m gonna drag him downstairs, ok?”
“Ok, Caro.”
Sliding myself out from under him, I wrapped my arms around his chest under his armpits just like the first-aid book said. I couldn’t stand up with him, he was too heavy, but I could kind of scootch us both along on my knees. The fall had knocked us about 60 centimeters from the opening; I was just grateful we hadn’t fallen in. We reached the stairs and I almost fell in; I had to go backwards because of how I was holding Pops. “Ray,” I said as I began clambering down, “you’re going to have to shut the outer lock and start bringing the pressure up on override, because I can’t get out from under Pops to do it.”
“O-ok,” he said. “Tell me when. I told Kelly to take the kids in and put on a movie. They don’t know what’s happened yet. I didn’t know what else to do with them – just wanted them out of the way so I –”
“Ray, close the lock!” All of Pops was through the lock, now, his feet trailing above us as I dragged him down the steps. I could feel my ears pop as the pressure began, ever so slowly, to increase. Once we reached the floor I stretched Dad out to get a better look at him. Of course, with the suit on I couldn’t really tell. I grabbed the first-aid kit off the wall, gripping it tightly to keep my hands from trembling as I opened it. I took a deep breath as I glanced over the contents. “Ray, how long were we out there after Pops got hit?”
“’Bout three minutes, I think. If you called right away it couldn’t have been much longer.”
I shook my head. It felt like hours, to me. But such a short time between suit-breach and entering the chamber meant that we didn’t have to take repressurization slower than normal. I kneeled down and adjusted his mask manually to give him the highest oxygen flow possible. “Ok, let’s take a look at the arm,” I muttered to myself, peering at the gash. I didn’t want to take the therm suit off him yet, because compromised or no it was still doing at least part of its job, and the pressure and temperature in here weren’t anywhere near what they would be inside, yet. I tugged the arm as straight as possible.
I pressed gauze pads over the wound to stop the bleeding. Outside the temperature was so low the blood had frozen. Now that we were warming up, it was thawing, and I didn’t want him to lose too much blood. I gave him a shot of painkiller and covered him with a thermal blanket kept in the locker for such an emergency, and waited.
***
Ellie Jolson and her son Mike were there by the time the pressure equalized. They had an aircar, to make the trip shorter; the extra money Ellie brought in with her skills made it possible and her work made it necessary. She bustled in and took over, and I don’t think I’d ever in my life been so relieved to see a grownup. I stretched, rolling my shoulders and neck to get the kinks out, and stripped out of my suit as she began peeling Pops out. He was still unconscious. I didn’t bug her, asking how he was, much as I would have liked to, knowing from long experience she wouldn’t say anything until she was damn good and ready to, and asking before then would only annoy her.
“Can I help?” I asked after putting my suit away.
“Nope,” Ellie said brusquely, shoving a strand of black hair out of her eyes but not turning to look at me. “See to your brothers.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said. Mike gave me a sympathetic smile as I brushed past him, teeth glinting white in his dark face. I nodded back to him, glad of his presence. He was the only kid near my age in the area, and we’d always been great friends. It would be good to have him here, especially if . . . I bit my lip, refusing to think about it.
***
“Caro, what’s going on?” Kelly said as I came into the living room. Kareem turned off the TV, and the three boys turned to face me expectantly. “Why do we have company? And why was Ray so anxious for us to stay in here?”
I swallowed, wishing Ray or someone else was here to tell them. “Pops got hit, in the arm, while we were Outside,” I whispered. “The rock must’ve been pretty big, judging the size of the hole it left and the amount of damage it did. I don’t” I paused, scrubbing at my eyes to get the tears out, “know how bad it is. Ellie and Mike are here now to take care of him.”
The boys were still. Kelly stood stiffly, face white as a sheet but no tears, trying so hard to be brave. He was old enough to remember Ma, and her death, as I was, and the little ones weren’t. For him, and me, it was worse. We knew how bad it could be.
John was crying, and Kareem had sat down on the cold floor with a dazed look in his eyes, as if he didn’t understand. I had to prepare them, somehow, so that if we lost Pops, it wouldn’t be so sudden. True, the wound missed any vital organs, but Martian atmospheric pressure and temperature and shock could kill him real easy. “He’s probably going to be fine,” I said at last. “Though it may take him a while to recover. We’re all going to have to work harder.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, praying for courage. “But you’ve got to understand, there’s a chance . . . that . . . ” My voice trailed off, and I found my throat so tight with unshed tears that I couldn’t go on.
“That what, Caro?” Kareem said in his high-pitched voice, looking at me with absolute trust, as if he believed his big sister would make it all right. I stared at him, seeing the baby he’d been when he’d come to us. His parents had died, and he’d needed a wet-nurse, and Ma had been the only woman in the area with a nursing child at the time. It would be the second time he’d been orphaned, if Pops died. I just couldn’t say it.
“That he’s gonna die,” Kelly burst out, and charged blindly from the room. I could hear the door of the boys’ room his shut and the lock click on.
“Is he?” John asked. “Is Pops gonna die?” His voice quavered.
“I don’t know.” I gathered both the little ones in my arms, holding them as Pops had held me when Ma died. “I just don’t know.”
***
By the time Ellie and Mike were finished and had Pops laid out, I’d fed the little ones and put them to bed. Kelly was lying face to the wall, and wouldn’t talk to me, but I could tell he was listening when I sang the younger ones to sleep.
I’d found Ray in the kitchen, stuffing his face. He did that a lot when he was nervous or scared. So I sent him to finish the chores. Funny, he didn’t mind taking orders from me, though he’d never allowed me to tell him what to do before.
I was waiting for Ellie and Mike when they came out of Pops’ room.
“Well?” I asked.
“He’ll be out for a few days, but he’ll live,” Ellie said, though Mike wouldn’t meet my eyes and even the indomitable Ellie seemed tired.
“But?” I said when neither of them seemed anxious to go on.
“But he’ll never use that arm again,” Ellie said. “I’m sorry, girl. There was nothing we could do. The object hit the main artery.” She shook her head, then looked me straight in the eye and said firmly: “You did good to get him in so fast, though, and your first-aid was right on target.”
“Thank you, Ma’am,” I said, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders. “Now what happens?”
Ellie sighed. “With your father laid up for weeks, and only half-effective when he’s back to work, and just a con hired man to take care of you kids and see things get done, I don’t see there’s any way to make a go of this place. I’ll stay for a few days, but I’d like to take Pops home with me, and divide you kids up among the neighbors. Once he’s better, he can help us out. We’ve been meaning to get another hired hand, anyway, and under the circumstances, it’s the least we can do. You kids will be taken care of, but we don’t have room or money to take all of you.”
“Split up?” I whispered, appalled. “We can’t leave here, it’s our home.”
“I’m sorry, Caroline. I know it’ll be hard, but . . .” she trailed off, and tried to lay a hand on my shoulder in motherly sympathy. I shook it off.
“Excuse me,” I mumbled.
***
“Kelly,” I whispered, shaking his shoulder. “Kelly, come on. We’ve got to talk.” I couldn’t tell if he was really asleep or just faking it. “Kelly, come on.” I glanced over at the little ones in their bed, relieved that they hadn’t woken.
Kelly mumbled something incoherent and slid off the bed, taking his quilt with him. “What d’you want?” he asked.
I touched a finger to my lips and led him out of the room going to find Ray.
***
We found him in Hydroponics, staring at the O2/CO2 exchange tanks as if hypnotized, watching the algae sway in the water currents.
“We have to talk,” I said, tugging at his arm to get his attention. “Pops is going to be laid up for a while and lose the use of the arm. Ellie doesn’t think we can keep the place. She wants to take Pops in as a hired man and split us kids up among the neighbors. Ray, you’d be on your own, though I’m sure Pops’d give you a good recommendation.”
“We have to leave?” Kelly said, frowning in bewilderment, hugging the quilt tighter. I don’t think that was a possibility either of us had considered.
“Ray, what do you think?” I asked, hoping that as the adult he would know what to do.
“I dunno, Caro,” he said hesitantly, leaning against the tank. “Ellie’s pretty smart.”
“I don’t want to leave,” Kelly said. I could hear the break in his voice.
“I don’t want to, either,” I said, frowning. I began pacing, up and down the rows of vegetables. “Pops ran this place just fine for a year, before Ray came. And none of us kids were old enough to be much help. We got Ray, and Pops has taught me a lot about running this place, and you too. I think we can do it ourselves.”
“I can do lots of things,” Kelly said proudly. “Sure we can.”
“Hey, now, wait a minute,” Ray said, standing up straight and looking back and forth between the two of us. “I don’t know all that much about running this place, and neither do you kids. Your Pops works longer hours than I think you two realize. There’s a lot he does that none of us know anything about. And this isn’t just taking the place over for a few days or even a few weeks we’re talking about, here. This is the rest of your lives. ‘Cause from what you said, the Boss isn’t going to be in any shape to handle the labor himself. Ever. I know you don’t want to get split up. But I just don’t see how you can do it.”
“I thought you’d be on our side,” Kelly said loudly. “I thought you’d understand.”
“Now, Kelly. I don’t want to see you–”
“Will you two stop fighting?” I said, glaring at the two of them. “It’s a long shot, but it’s no shot at all if we can’t get along. So stuff it. Ray, thanks for the advice, but remember you’re the hired man. Kelly and I think we can do this. We’re sure as hell going to try, anyway. You for us or against us?”
Ray shrugged, and went back to leaning against the tank. “Yeah, sure. It’s your homestead and your lives. You’re crazy enough to do this, it’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to go. I just don’t think we can do it, is all.”
“You do realize,” I hesitated, then rushed on. “You do realize we probably aren’t going to be able to pay much, at first?”
Ray snorted. “Not like you pay me much, now.”
“Great,” I said, smiling for the first time since Pops had been hit.
***
We found Ellie and Mike in the kitchen, sitting at the table. She looked me up and down as I finished our proposal, head cocked skeptically to the side. I held my breath, waiting for her reply, sure she was going to try to tell me to go to bed like a good girl and start packing in the morning. But “Your decision,” was all she said, then turned back to the news fax she’d been reading before our interruption.
My jaw dropped. That was it?
I must have spoken aloud, or perhaps she knew what I was thinking, for she turned back to me. “I guess you’re old enough to handle it,” she said. “You can keep your brothers in line and keep things going till Pops gets on his feet again. Won’t be easy, but you already know that. Just remember, you find you can’t make it go, the offer’s still open.
“There’s a lot of stuff has to get done in the morning, which it isn’t that far off now. Better go to bed; it’s gonna be a long day tomorrow, Caroline.”
“I know.”
Adrift. To fly a Wraith hive ship, you must be a Wraith. I love it because it's one of those stories that feels more like I was a conduit for it than that I wrote it.
Pale Battalions. Teal'c goes home after a glorious battle in Apophis' name. Because pre-series Teal'c doesn't get enough love.
The rest of my favorites are all currently WIPs, which means they're not posted anywhere, but if I had to choose favorites of the ones that are posted online, here's how it would go.
Family Relationships. When Carter visits her father, she finds they both have surprises. Season 8. Because I love the Tok'ra and there isn't enough good Tok'ra fic out there, and it's the first part in a series, the third part of which I have an intense love/hate relationship with, and have had since November of 2004.
What She Wants. Because Faith is Fun.
I'm gonna copy
kellifer_fic shamefully, and take the easy way out by just tagging all of you.
