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So, I was just reading a fic and it was a good story, but there were quite a number of grammatical issues: misplaced commas and apostrophes, wrong homonymns, etc. There was a note at the bottom "Rewritten--grammar issues fixed!"
I don't want to know what it was like before ...
Fics what the Intarwebs have not provided for me that I would love to read.
And, finally, and most grossly: Plumbing woes. Apparently, it isn't good for the plumbing for a large four-bedroom (2.5 bath) house to be inhabited by only one person (particularly when the main bathroom is the farthest corner of the house possible from the place where pipes lead out to the street). Apparently, one person simply doesn't use enough water naturally to carry all the, er, solid waste all the way out to the street, so it has a habit of getting blocked up. I already had to have a plumber once a few months ago to send the snake out through the drains because I had sewage backed up into my basement. He said, "Flush every toilet every time you walk past a bathroom! Take long showers! Use as much water as you can!" Which, er, may keep my plumbing going but my God what a lot of water that would waste. So instead of flushing every toilet every time I go past, I've been using the one in the basement next to where the plumbing leaves the building, figuring that with a shorter distance to go it needs less water, right? That ... may not be good enough. It has not yet backed up, but we shall see.
I don't want to know what it was like before ...
Fics what the Intarwebs have not provided for me that I would love to read.
- A Downton Abbey AU where Mary got pregnant when she slept with Mr. Pamouk in season one, and she and Cora went to America to "visit" *cough*have the baby in secret*cough* and when they came back, they passed it off as Cora's child. (And if it was a boy, even told Robert that it was Cora's--after all, a son of Cora's and Robert's would inherit the title, cutting Matthew out of the succession again, and that would be Dishonerable! and Robert would object. Cora, however, strikes me as much too practical for that, and much happier with her own grandson (even if he is a bastard) getting her money and the estate than letting someone else get it.) To make things even more interesting, you know of course that O'Brien would have to go along with them--Cora would never leave her maid behind, even if she wanted too it would be too suspicious.
- OuaT fic that is neither RumBelle nor Swan Queen nor about Captain Hook. There are so many wonderful, fascinating characters and events that just beg to be explored, and what do people write? 98% of fic falls into three categories. First is the woobification of Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold to make him into a Tragic Love Interest (and ignore all the things that make his and Belle's relationship interesting, and also forgetting that his number one motivation is getting Bae back and his number two motivation is power and only then does Belle come into things). I find this trait disturbing on a number of levels, not least of which is that most people I know who woobify bad guys on TV are also likely to do it in real life ("oh, he means well! it's okay because he loves me! of course he does bad things and treats me badly, but it's okay because he had a bad childhood!") Second you have the Emma/Regina stories, which do often woobify Regina but are at least less likely to be as blatant at it (because of all the hate!sex fics). And, you know, while I think their relationship (in a non-sexual sense) is fascinating and would love to see it explored, I don't much care for woobification and I like hate!sex even less, so there's most of that pairing that I have no interest in. And then you have fic about Captain Hook, who fills a role on the show but is pretty much your stock antihero/villain. I mean, there's nothing about him that I haven't seen a thousand times in other characters. Come on folks! There is so much more interesting stuff going on in this show!
And, finally, and most grossly: Plumbing woes. Apparently, it isn't good for the plumbing for a large four-bedroom (2.5 bath) house to be inhabited by only one person (particularly when the main bathroom is the farthest corner of the house possible from the place where pipes lead out to the street). Apparently, one person simply doesn't use enough water naturally to carry all the, er, solid waste all the way out to the street, so it has a habit of getting blocked up. I already had to have a plumber once a few months ago to send the snake out through the drains because I had sewage backed up into my basement. He said, "Flush every toilet every time you walk past a bathroom! Take long showers! Use as much water as you can!" Which, er, may keep my plumbing going but my God what a lot of water that would waste. So instead of flushing every toilet every time I go past, I've been using the one in the basement next to where the plumbing leaves the building, figuring that with a shorter distance to go it needs less water, right? That ... may not be good enough. It has not yet backed up, but we shall see.
