![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Nov. 14th, 2015 09:16 pmHad a long chat with Mom this afternoon. Apparently Dad's having problems with moodiness that he's never had before, and she's worried about him.
And all this time, he's apparently been handling the revelation that he's on the autism spectrum a lot worse than I knew. My baby brother was diagnosed when I was in college, and I figured out right away from the list of symptoms that I was, too, and I struggled with it for a long time. I figured out that Dad was autistic then, but he didn't until a couple of years later when baby brother was in school and he asked the teacher if he thought Dad might possibly be autistic, and the teacher kind of boggled that he was only just then figuring it out. Anyway, when I've talked with him about it in the decade since, it's been mostly focusing on the "it's nice to know why I am the way I am." So I thought he was handling it okay. But apparently, he wants to be positive for his daughter; Mom gets to see more, and apparently there's a lot of "autism is horrible, I'll never be able to have friends or do anything." (And, yeah, in his life he has only had ONE close male friend, who committed suicide like a year before baby brother was diagnosed. But they have a decent social circle; he may have only had one "best friend," but he's got friends who genuinely like him and care for him.) And I don't doubt there's a lot of midlife crisis in there, too.
I feel guilty, because Mom asked me for advice on therapy and stuff a year or two ago, and I didn't really brush her off but I didn't pay much attention because from what I could see, he was doing okay. But, like, they didn't even know that ASAN exists, and there are two ASAN chapters within two hours of their home. If nothing else, they'll know if there are any good therapists who aren't a dick about autism in the area, and if we're really lucky there will be a middle-aged man or two that Dad could maybe strike up a friendship with. And I've known about ASAN myself for a while now, I could have hooked them up.
And all this time, he's apparently been handling the revelation that he's on the autism spectrum a lot worse than I knew. My baby brother was diagnosed when I was in college, and I figured out right away from the list of symptoms that I was, too, and I struggled with it for a long time. I figured out that Dad was autistic then, but he didn't until a couple of years later when baby brother was in school and he asked the teacher if he thought Dad might possibly be autistic, and the teacher kind of boggled that he was only just then figuring it out. Anyway, when I've talked with him about it in the decade since, it's been mostly focusing on the "it's nice to know why I am the way I am." So I thought he was handling it okay. But apparently, he wants to be positive for his daughter; Mom gets to see more, and apparently there's a lot of "autism is horrible, I'll never be able to have friends or do anything." (And, yeah, in his life he has only had ONE close male friend, who committed suicide like a year before baby brother was diagnosed. But they have a decent social circle; he may have only had one "best friend," but he's got friends who genuinely like him and care for him.) And I don't doubt there's a lot of midlife crisis in there, too.
I feel guilty, because Mom asked me for advice on therapy and stuff a year or two ago, and I didn't really brush her off but I didn't pay much attention because from what I could see, he was doing okay. But, like, they didn't even know that ASAN exists, and there are two ASAN chapters within two hours of their home. If nothing else, they'll know if there are any good therapists who aren't a dick about autism in the area, and if we're really lucky there will be a middle-aged man or two that Dad could maybe strike up a friendship with. And I've known about ASAN myself for a while now, I could have hooked them up.
