Entries tagged with family

Entry tags:

family,
rl

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Got a call from my brother at 4:30 asking if I could throw some things in the car and drive the 2.5 hours to his place immediately and maybe stay for a couple of days but at least get there NOW. Because his wife went into the doctor's office, and they kept her and scheduled surgery for tonight and they have four kids under the age of 7 and obviously he can't both be there for his wife AND at home with the kids at the same time, and all of his normal babysitters were unavailable at such short notice.

So here I am at my brother's house having just gotten the kids in bed. Surgery is scheduled for 10:30PM; I'm not even 100% sure what it's for, but it must be serious if they didn't let her go home and scheduled surgery for that same night after normal business hours. Tomorrow's stuff is all stuff I can do online, and the only thing I have scheduled for Friday is something I can cancel, so my plans for the rest of the week are all up in the air.

ETA: they're putting in a stent for kidney stones. So, minor in the sense that it's not dangerous and she'll recover quickly, but not minor in that she's in a lot of pain.

Entry tags:

family,
rl

Priorities

I opened a Christmas card today without looking at the return address. It had a picture of my niblings on it. (4 kids between the ages of 8 and 2.)

Me: It must be my brother's card!

Silly assumption. No. It was my parents' card. They did have a picture of themselves on the back of it. Showing off the grandbabies was clearly far more important, though.

(I do feel a bit bad, because mom told me when she received my card that my sister in law wants approval of the wording of anything we say about her and the kids in a mass letter like this, which is fair, but I didn't know that before I sent my letters out. I don't think she would object to anything I said? But still, it's her call what news about her kids gets broadcast to a wider audience.)

Entry tags:

family,
rl

The Comet and the Telescope

When I was ten, my Dad and I built a telescope with our own two hands. And I don't mean from a kit. I mean, we BUILT that sucker, starting with grinding the mirror. (Yes, you can indeed grind your own telescope mirror. It takes for-freaking-ever, but you can do it.) (If you want to know how, google "how to build a Dobsonian telescope" and "how to grind a telescope mirror" and that should enlighten you.) Anyway, we spent a summer gathering with other amateur telescope makers in town to spend hours grinding a concave mirror by hand, while John Dobson advised and taught astronomy. Then we sent it off to be "silvered" while Dad built the mount out of plywood, a cardboard tube used for pouring cement pillars, a record (for use to help it rotate side-to-side smoothly), and some strips of laminate counter and teflon tape (to help it rotate up-and-down smoothly). We bought the eyepiece (to look into it) and the sight (to help find stuff) and we spent our summers after that going out mountains in the middle of the Oregon desert to gather with other amateur astronomers and spend our nights watching the skies. Our telescope was respectably on the small side of medium at ten inches; the majority of telescopes at these star parties were 10-16 inches. (Some were smaller, at 8 inches; there were always a few ginormous 40 inch behemoths that required a ladder unless the object you were looking at was right on the horizon--Dobsonian telescopes, you look in the top end, not through the bottom.)

I'm home at my parents' place on vacation, and Dad got out the telescope to look at the comet. Unfortunately, the sight broke, but he was able to find it anyway.

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Back from vacation

My parents' 40th Anniversary of their business (not their marriage) was last Sunday, and since I was their longest-running employee, I sort of had to be there at the big party they threw. (I started taking out the trash for $1/day at age 5/6, and by the time I was in high school I was packaging orders and calling clients in addition to all janitorial duties.)

It was a great party! They rented a small hall, which was filled to capacity, it looked lovely, people cried during the program it was so moving, and I think at least one of my Mom's brothers finally caught a clue that, while my parents' field is not the most remunerative (especially these days) they are very highly decorated and well-respected within it. (My mom's family being one that conflates "how good you are and how well you are doing" with "how much money you are making.")

Unfortunately, I threw my back out while setting up. It is still, a week later, giving me issues. Not huge issues that require major changes, but still. It was not helped by all the other stuff I did while home, including two days with long hours in the car on a road trip to do job interviews (both of which went well).

I flew back to where I live now yesterday, and was up bright and early to head to church at my small country church. On the way there, I realized I forgot the bulletins. No problem, I thought, we do a liturgical bulletin and anyway I can pull it up on my phone. Then I got there, and just as I pulled in to park the tire pressure warning went off. Sure enough, got out of the car to hear a loud hissing. By the end of service, it was COMPLETELY flat, and I didn't have time to change it before heading to my second service. So I got a lift into town.

At my second service, the powerpoint didn't want to start and it didn't want to connect to my tablet, requiring lots of fussing before worship started. Then one of the videos paused in the middle which has never happened before. And a couple of other things went wrong, too. After service, one of the farmers got his big truck with all the toolboxes and heavy equipment permanently mounted in it, and we went out to change the tire on my jeep. Except he couldn't get one of the bolts off. Not with the tools provided, not with a cordless drill, not with a pneumatic drill. It just wasn't coming off. At which point, we put the other bolts back on and he aired up the tire and we drove back to town, stopping three times to put more air in the tire.

Can today be over?

Entry tags:

family,
rl

Depression intervention help

So, my family is all pretty sure (like 99% sure) that my aunt has been depressed for a couple of decades (there’s probably an unhealthy dose of anxiety in the mix, too). She does not believe that, however. I’ve suggested talking to her doctor about it, and she says that she’s fat and lazy and useless and no therapist can help with that, and doesn’t listen when I say yeah, but the therapist might be able to help you realize you aren’t lazy and useless, and feel better about the fact that you’re fat.

She has health problems that are very real, but at the very least the depression is making them more difficult to deal with. (Being so mentally fried she can’t cook and goes out to eat instead does not help with the diabetes, for example.) She was depressed but fairly stable for a long time, but Grandma was her main emotional and physical support through that time--they lived on the same piece of property, and Grandma would cook for the both of them and do yardwork and such while Aunt was at work, which allowed her to save up her spoons. But Grandma died a year ago, and I’m not sure if Aunt’s getting worse or if it’s just that she’s overwhelmed by trying to do EVERYTHING. I live half a continent away and I do what I can when I’m home, and talk to her regularly on the phone when I’m not. My parents live in the next town over and visit at least once a week, doing odd jobs and whatnot to help her, but it’s not sustainable for them or her.

Anybody got any brilliant (or, even just vaguely competent, that would work too) ideas for what to say and do to help her at least ask her doctor about it and get an evaluation? I’ve talked to her a couple of times over the years about it, and she’s never listened, but then again, she’s never been this bad before. I sent her the pics about “what depression actually feels like” vs. “what people think depression feels like.” I want her to be happy and to realize that most of the things she thinks are character flaws are symptoms of her illness.

Help!

Entry tags:

family,
rl

Not happening.

I had been looking forward to

rarewomen (and signups are open so you should all go check it out and sign up).

Not happening this year. My grandma has stage 4 cancer and the doctor is saying months (don't know how many) and if you're going to visit, sooner would be better than later. And March and April are two of the three busiest months in my profession so taking time off in March or April would be not possible except for dire emergencies, so I'm looking to go home next week if I can make it work (and praying that it will).

Even if I she's miraculously cured in the next two weeks ... nope. There's just no way I can write.

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family,
navy

Since my brother in the Navy never calls me when he's on shore, much less at sea ...

... here are a few pics of his ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, on its current deployment.

( Anchors Aweigh, my boys ... )

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family

My grandfather just died

I'm flying home tomorrow morning.

Entry tags:

family

Mom's blog

My parents have a blog for their studio. On the latest entry, Mom talked about Grandpa. I got teary just reading it.

http://haugensgalleri.com/

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family

We're off to the hospital, now

My Grandfather is ill. They're not sure he's going to make it, which is pretty scary considering that two years ago when he was so sick his weight was down to 120lbs (for a man of 6'4), they never said anything that pessimistic.

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My mom is awesome!

So, remember a few weeks before Christmas when I posted about the icons I wanted, and how they were all images that just needed to be cropped and resized but my graphics skills weren't up to the task?

My parents are professional photographers, and their studio Haugen's Galleri has been completely digital for over five years now. So they've got these incredible cameras and computers and graphics programs, and it took Mom like two seconds per image to make them into icons. She threw in an image from my High School senior portraits, too. (Yeah, I know it's been eight years since they were taken, but I haven't changed that much and it's not like you can see my face anyway.) It's my new default icon. Isn't it pretty?

Anyway, here they are:
My Senior Portrait

1633 by Eric Flint

Batman Begins

and

Brother Cadfael

Honor Harrington

and

Entry tags:

family

In the Navy ...

My brother's in the Navy, and he just turned 21. He's been regaling us about the two (2!) separate occasions his crewmates took him out to celebrate. (Yeah. He was puking and oblivious before they got to the bar, apparently.)

He said he didn't mind blacking out, because it made the night pass more quickly.

Entry tags:

family

We've always known my kid brother was smart!

...it's just been getting other people to recognize it that's the problem. He's autistic, and most people (even some professionals) figure autistic=stupid. Which isn't the case, even remotely; autistic means they don't process information the same way most people do, and hence can have great problems learning to deal with the world around them. There's no medical treatment for it--no drugs, diet, etc. that is proven to have any effect on it. What does work, however, is lots of therapy aimed at figuring out how to help them make whatever connections they need to allow them to figure out how to deal with the world around them. It's not a question of intelligence, it's a question of figuring out how to use that intelligence. It doesn't necessarily require a professional therapist, either; I worked with him whenever I was home from college, and since he's gotten old enough for school they've hired high school students to come in and work with him on his schoolwork and teach him to play games and sports and things. All it needs is dedication, lots of patience, and an ability to figure out new things to try if something's not working.

Anyway, I just got word from my parents that not only is my brother now reading at a fifth-grade level (and he's only in fourth grade), but the only subject he needs special help in is math--and not even all the time then. Which is really cool!

And when he was three, a specialist tried to tell us he was severely retarded as well as autistic. Idiot. Gee, he didn't do well on the normal intelligence-evaluation tools/games they use for children his age. Really? I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you! A kid who doesn't process information the same way as other kids do had problems with the standard evaluation tools? Who woulda thunk it? He'd been strategizing for a year by that point, we knew he wasn't stupid. For example, when I was trying to keep him corraled in coffee hour after church, he'd pick up a pillow from the couch, get between me and the door, throw the pillow in the opposite direction, and make a mad dash for the door, knowing I'd have to stop to pick up the pillow before I could go after him. A kid who can figure that out by age two? Is not stupid.

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What is it with guys and shirts that look like tablecloths?

I may have mentioned taking my brother out shopping along with his fiance and her family for new civvies. If not, it was a fun adventure in which a good time was had by all (except possibly my brother), despite the trouble we had making sure that he bought at least a few shirts that weren't checked.

Anyway, I was taking a study break and went back to Everybody's Crazy 'bout a Sharp Dressed Man,

niamaea's hilarious look at Jacksonian Fashion Through the Years, and I realized that my brother's fashion sense is actually a lot like Daniel Jackson's.

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What's been happening in Oregon

So, I haven't been giving regular updates on my life as I usually do. I'm sorry, I kept meaning to, but CPE was (as it is designed to be) highly stressful, and when I got home I wasn't really in the mood for writing about it--I just wanted to relax and forget as much about it as possible until the next day. As you may recall, I did my CPE at Oregon State Hospital, the mental facility where they filmed One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

I don't remember what I've said before, but the point of Clinical Pastoral Education is to find any issues you might have that interfere with your ability to act pastorally/counsel people. And help you deal with them, or at least figure out how to not let them interfere with the counseling. Needless to say, dealing with one's issues can be quite emotionally stressful. My supervisor was very experienced, and very, very good at his job--which I had mixed feelings about, since it would have been much easier for me if he'd been not quite so good, y'know? One of those experiences that one is glad for afterwards because it was valuable, but never never never wants to have again.

( Highlights from this summer )

Entry tags:

family,
rl

Happy Birthday ...

... to my Grandpa, who is now 87.

And boy, do I wish I was there for it. Besides almost everyone I've been missing since coming back to school being there, they had a home-cooked ham dinner with home-made cake afterwards. Sigh.

Current Mood: gleeful

Entry tags:

family,
rl

Christmas in August

Well, the bad news is that my grandparents have to move to a retirement home. While we would obviously prefer that they stayed in good health and continued to live out at the farm, that's just not possible anymore. And, being the responsible people that they are, they're cleaning out their house now and divvying up posessions they can't take with them so that we don't have a huge problem once they're dead, and are just delighted to see things go out the door because it means one less thing they have to deal with themselves. Last night we went down to pick up a load. Now, the thing you have to know about our family is that we are all, every single one of us, huge bookworms. Huge. Voracious readers, we devour books. My first sentence, at 18 months old, was "I go read." At one point last night, Mom, Grandma and I just opened up and started reciting a poem together for fun. Anyway, one of my uncles had been there the night before to pick up a load of furniture and other items that were going to him a few days ago, but when we arrived yesterday, we were the first people to get there since Grandma and Granddad finished going through their books and picking out which ones to take with them. And the books were not specifically divided up to go to anyone. We got first pick! Bwahahaha. Excellent. Picture much glee on our part, as we sorted through them. Oh, yeah. We came home with several boxes full, but don't worry, we left plenty for the rest of the family (there are a lot to go around).

Also got some nice china, some table linens, and an antique rocker, and several other items either valuable or with emotional resonance were left because we didn't have the space to bring them home yesterday (because, you know, boxes of books! Cool books!). And, really, the china and rocker are gorgeous, and it's great that we have them in our family. But they're mom and dad's, now, and will be for quite some time. The books? A significant portion of them are mine, mine, mine! (My brother, Nels, wasn't there to pick out any because he's away in the Navy, but he rates lowest on the bookivore scale in the family anyway, although that's not saying much in our family. But he got Grandad's collection of WWII stuff, so he has no room to complain.)

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Poem of the Day--Batter My Heart

Holy Sonnet: 14
Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

-John Donne, 1633

( Real Life Woes )

Current Mood: impressed

Entry tags:

family,
rl

Ah, the irony of life

I'm from Oregon, on the west coast of the US. Being a Lutheran, I decided to go to a Lutheran college, and as most Lutherans live in the Midwest, I ended up going to college in Iowa. My parents were terrified that I'd meet some nice Lutheran boy there, get married, settle down, and they'd only get to see their (hypothetical) grandchildren once or twice a year. (I think their fears might have been influenced, just a tad, by the fact that they met at college and never left town.) Didn't happen. Came back to Oregon after graduation, got a job, and now I'm heading even further back East to go to seminary.

However. We are leaving today on a trip to Minneapolis-Saint Paul Minnesota to attend the wedding of one of my cousins. He's from Mom's side of the family, who are not only not heathens, they're almost all completely agnostic (including the cousin now getting married, last I heard). He, too, went to college in the Midwest. Who is he marrying?

A nice Lutheran girl.

Current Mood: touched

Entry tags:

family,
seminary

My first funeral

I presided over my first funeral today. I know, I know, I haven't even started seminary yet, but my mom's family is about as agnostic as you can get, except for my Mom and the great aunt who recently died. They had a funeral in the aunt's home town on the other side of the state, but she was interred today in the family plot. And her family wanted someone to say a few prayers because it's what she would have wanted, but as the branch of the family that lives here is, with the exception of my immediate family, non-churchgoers, I was the closest anyone knew to a pastor.

It was a very short service, as they'd already had a funeral. And it went well, and the immediate family liked it, which was the most important thing.