Yeah. I think the reason why personally I am more "comfortable" with misogynistic kinks is simply that I am on the "victim" side of that (even while also perpetuating it structurally as you do in patriarchy). But I would not want to make that a basis for judging what is "okay" to write.

And if I am honest I have to admit that I enjoyed plenty of porn that meshed with my kinks even when the author seemed to entirely lack awareness of how messed the things they are writing were. So I can't even claim that I only enjoy the "self-aware" approaches.

And I don't think it is primarily a porn issue even. Some of my own narrative kinks that I am most uncomfortable with are related to my love for ritualized and glorified concepts of violence/war/warriors in fiction. Like, even if these days the war/violence itself may be depicted as (superficially) horrendous (yet beautifully choreographed), it serves as a backdrop for displays of honor, solidarity, comradeship, bonding etc., which I like a lot, even though intellectually I know how much these narratives are part of the underlying support system of militaristic and patriarchal ideologies. I still love those stories, emotionally, so on a gut level I plain *like* the fictional version of the ideology I resent in RL, because my ideas of drama, of good storytelling whatever have been ingrained to me in a patriarchal culture.