So, my family is all pretty sure (like 99% sure) that my aunt has been depressed for a couple of decades (there’s probably an unhealthy dose of anxiety in the mix, too). She does not believe that, however. I’ve suggested talking to her doctor about it, and she says that she’s fat and lazy and useless and no therapist can help with that, and doesn’t listen when I say yeah, but the therapist might be able to help you realize you aren’t lazy and useless, and feel better about the fact that you’re fat.
She has health problems that are very real, but at the very least the depression is making them more difficult to deal with. (Being so mentally fried she can’t cook and goes out to eat instead does not help with the diabetes, for example.) She was depressed but fairly stable for a long time, but Grandma was her main emotional and physical support through that time--they lived on the same piece of property, and Grandma would cook for the both of them and do yardwork and such while Aunt was at work, which allowed her to save up her spoons. But Grandma died a year ago, and I’m not sure if Aunt’s getting worse or if it’s just that she’s overwhelmed by trying to do EVERYTHING. I live half a continent away and I do what I can when I’m home, and talk to her regularly on the phone when I’m not. My parents live in the next town over and visit at least once a week, doing odd jobs and whatnot to help her, but it’s not sustainable for them or her.
Anybody got any brilliant (or, even just vaguely competent, that would work too) ideas for what to say and do to help her at least ask her doctor about it and get an evaluation? I’ve talked to her a couple of times over the years about it, and she’s never listened, but then again, she’s never been this bad before. I sent her the pics about “what depression actually feels like” vs. “what people think depression feels like.” I want her to be happy and to realize that most of the things she thinks are character flaws are symptoms of her illness.Help!